Hey how is your wife and my kids

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So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

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Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

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What would make African women very happy? food and healthcare for their kids, and a proper education.

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What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me i'm going in.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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Why don't women drive more? Because statistically the man offers to drive more frequently

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I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

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What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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9 + 10 = How much yo mama makes.

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how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

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Your Mom is so fat, that she went to the doctor's and they told her that she was overweight and needed to get a stomach staple in order to make her lose weight

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Ok

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've got to say I hate you!

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What is black white and red all over? A zebra which a lion did not finish eating.

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Q: what did Don Draper do after he saw an attractive woman at the ABC store? A: went home and thought about her while drinking his scotch.

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Why did god make women? Because women are equally important when it comes to the birth to maintain or species.

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Llega San Pedro le dice a dios y se va.

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What's Funny About A Black Man Being Shot? Nothing, That Man Was My Friend.

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What`s that CREAM that comes out of you when your mom puts a WHIP on you with a switch? WHIP CREAM!

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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knock knock whos there? aids aids who? aids aids who? i dont go away

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a horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?", the horse incapable of understanding the English language promptly shits on the floor and eats a bar stool.

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops