What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

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What did the husband say when his wife startled him as she appeared coming out of the kitchen? You scared me.

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Whats faster than a black guy with a tv? His brother who is a dentist and drives a fast sports car.

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Why did the plane crash? Because a tomato was the pilot.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To collect it's AIDS medication.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He did not have sufficient stability in his arm at that moment causing him to loosen his grip and drop his ice cream.

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Why can't black people swim? Because there are sharks in the lake.

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About numbers, it was 180 mg of valium... And I am going to live becausepeople got there in time, my heart never stopped because luck, the doc was only making a joke about me "having ingested enough valium to die at least twice". Sanders, I just got your girlfriend to agree to a threesome, if my banana ever wakes up again, AND WHEN... Thou areth forgiven, btw I sent him a picture of Line`s unshaved vagina, and a note stating: U recognize this? Find out more on horsehead network! Meh His name is Anders something Chattington, yeah for all that know him, guess whose finger is on her unshaven... Yeah, maybe you should not have messed with a guy that can have ANYONE. Ps: Then its your mother, then your sister which is 17 (and pretty 16 is legal here so fuck you Chatty!) and then I SHALL STRIKE THY WITH THE VENGEANCE OF A THOUSAND SUNS! Because you are forgiven, which I cant even remember what means, I mean I know I am typing my experiences here, but thats only because I remember by muscle memory where the buttons are, said the doctor... I can still play Snes emulators... Not, because my numb fingers cant click anything and Line is gone. I TOUCHED HER ALREADY YA KNO! YOU SAW THE PIC, My skin is tan, and... well you know she is here... The best part? She is totally okay with you knowing, sayonara pal, id watch the "fluor" in your mothers pussy the next time you eat it!

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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what's the diferance between a boner and a lambroghini? I dont have a lambroghini

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What's long and black The unemployment line

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Roses are blue Violets are red It's fascinating what genetic engineering can do

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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Why did? Yes

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What do you say when your hot chocolate is to hot? This hot chocolate is too hot.

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Q: What would happen if Chuck Norris was hit by an Astroid A: He would die.

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What do you call a Caucasian in Russia? Russian.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh..wait...that's actually an anti-joke already...

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Q: Why did the baby cry when it came out of the moms stomach? A: The doctor dropped it!

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how do you confuse a blonde do nothing

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the baby monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was on a diet

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What do mario and luigi have in common They are both plumbers

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Roses are red Roses are white and I one time saw a purple one

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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