Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Um no horses are overrated.

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How did the little boy get lost? He didnt he got dragged into a van and was raped violently.

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whats flat and useless? the walls of an abandoned house where land prices are increasing and properties are in high demand

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What did the kid with turrets say? Many swear words but he can not be blamed for this because he has a disease that make him unable to control many of the things he says.

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Uh... Justin, the most pointless man... I gotta cringe for a moment, I don't want to be mean here, but I think my body cell total opinion pool dropped a large quantity there, its not that I do not want you anymore, but, my body`s mass body cell total is kinda denying me... Actually I am denying IT... ACTUALLY WE ARE DENYING EACH OTHER, (which is totally awesome, united denial fighting against one another FOR DENYING THE MOST! BECAUSE COOPERATION IS FOR PUSSIES!) Anyway, hell I am dead tired, oh yeah, Justin... Man, Uh, who where you again?

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Watching your mum get sandwiched by two black guys...

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It works on whoever I have an emotional attachment with, for example people might be thinking you and I write in the exact same style, but I am actually copying your way of typing (spelling, word composition etc) this because we relate on a deep emotional level with people that like "get us" because they can act and behave like us. This again doubles the effect of the hypnosis, since when I get "super high on trance" and you feel that way, well, we both reach into the same wavelength, literally. Scientists and hypnotists supposedly have no idea as to why this happens, but I know, it is because our brain patterns are so similar, that even though we are at a long distance, your body believes itself to be an extension of mine and the other way around. How do I know this? Yogurt.

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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? it has no legs.

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How did the fat guy survive the air crash? He was he was astronomically and improbably lucky.

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Why did the man run away from the woman? He forgot his rape kit.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's the difference between michael jackson and casey anthony? Michael jackson's dead.

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What do you call a cow painted in red a cat ( PS : i lied about the cow + the paint ! )

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Why did the penis cross the road? Because a man was humping the chicken

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Why did Jimmy fall off of his bike? Well, he was always known for his lack of balance.

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What do you call an horse? A horse, because horse does not start with a vowel and that would be grammatically incorrect.

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y do black people always have nightmares because we killed the one who had a dream

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Why is is afraid of seven? Because seven is a date rapist

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Why was the black guy homeless? because he has been affected severely by the credit crunch, been made redundant and had his home repossessed

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How do you make a kids parents mad? Fly an SR71-BLACKBIRD into him.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. grass was greener on the other side!

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Q: What Would Canada Be With out Nature A: Peru

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The 13 year old tied up in my basement.

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no rasist joks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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