Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms. Why doesnt she have arms? they got bit off by a shark. Knock knock. Who's there? Not the girl.

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What does a Cuban do when he gets a flat tire? He pulls over and replaces it.

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I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then I got stabbed.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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Q: If your 17 year-old-daughter is a drug addict, how many cartwheels are you going to have to do to make it to Georgia? A: The French Revolution, because your grandmothers facebook shows an 11 year-old selling Concords to a green alien, which can only mean that over 600 people watch pórn daily.

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What's worse than a pimple? Finding out it's a botfly.

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bob lost his camouflage bag. he never found it.

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what has two legs, and is red? half a cat.

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how do you find will smith in the snow? look for his teeth

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Why couldn't the Muslim eat pork? He didn't have a tongue.

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How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You take a survey of all citizens that live in the country of Mexico, find the wealth of each individual person, and whoever has the most money is the richest person in Mexico.

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A middle aged woman walks into a bar. Its Friday and there is a breeze in the air. She leaves shortly thereafter.

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Wanna know what I don't get? I was gonna say yo face, but that would be mean.

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little miss muffit sat on her tuffit eating her curds and weigh along came a spider and sat down beside her and said hey whats in the bowl?

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what is the difference between a white woman and a black woman.. i raped the black one

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Two muffins are in an oven. They say absolutely nothing because they're muffins and not sentient.

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What has 17 eyes, 43 toes, 11 feet and, 9 heads? A 17 eyed- 43 toed- 11 footed- 9 headed monster.

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Holocaust jokes are in bad taste, Anne Frankly I won't have any of it.

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Q. Why did the man walk away from his wife? A. Because he wanted to walk away from his wife.

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What's the difference between a statue and a real human? The statue can't run if the birds shit on it.

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They say that there's more than one way to skin a cat...so far iv only found the one.

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What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

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knock knock Goodbye

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How was breakdancing inventented? From niggas trying to steal hubcaps of moving cars!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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