Roses are red, Violets are blue; In Soviet Russia, POEM WRITES YOU!

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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What is Mary short for? She has no legs.

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Why did the kid fall off his bike? His mum threw a fridge at him.

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Lil Wayne's song 6 foot 7 foot was named after my wewe

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, but if the ladder is shaky, you might need another to hold it up.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will soon have her institutionalized.

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Why did the chicken cross the road ( The chicken says) I dream of a world where a chicken can cross the road without having morals questioned.

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A paraplegic walks into a bar.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Whose there? Obviously not Suzie.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He flapped his wings, hovered, and the road crossed beneath him.

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why was 9 afraid of 6 ? because it made her pregnant

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why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

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Did you hear about the new XBOX releasing in Mexico. It's called the XBOX JUAN!!!

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whats small and blue? a suffocated baby

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Gorillas are black, Roses are red, Were out of milk, GET THE F**K OUT!

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If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

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What happened to the old man at his suprise party? He died from the shock.

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Son: i like gaming Mom: you are wasting your life *son jumps in trash can

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Q. How many trees does it take to change a light bulb? A. Trees can't change light bulbs.

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What do you say to a girl with two black eyes? Nothing you haven't already said twice.

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whats worth than finding half a dead worm in your apple getting rapped by your step dad

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What would Hellen Keller say to Obama? Nothing she can't speak.

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You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops