How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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A black man, a gay man, and an Asian woman are sitting at a bar. The black man gets a phone call, and after the call all three of them are excited because they are all friends and the black man just got into a good college.

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what did a poor guys get for christmast ? brain tumor.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was walking.

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't divide by zero.

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What did the lawyer name his daughter? Nothing. The lawyer is sterile and can never have children.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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There were a dog and a cat in a family house. The dog turned to the cat and said .. nothing because a dog can not speech the human language.

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What is black and burns really well? charcoal.

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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says: "Man it's hot in here!" The other muffin looks over and says "Holy cow a talking muffin!"

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What's long and black The unemployment line

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yo momma!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

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What did the little boy say when he was asked what he wanted to be when he grew up? Adolf Hitler

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What does the black guy look for when he goes shopping? Some soap for his dead cat in the living room.

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Wanna hear a joke? No? Oh

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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what did the tree say to the person? nothing trees cant talk

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Three guys walk into a bar: a Priest, a rapist, and a pedophile...and two other guys

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What do you call a group of Mexicans jumping over a fence? I heat of runners trying out for the Mexican Olympic hurdle team.

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How many pancakes can you fit into a gopher hole? Red - because ice cream doesn't have any bones.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting yours asshole clawed by a grizzly

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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