Mum did you make my milkshake? No, I didn't son, but your father did. Fther's dead. I know.

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what is your moms favorite website? Wait did I say mom. Oh I'm not very sorry.

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I like to give help to people, expecting that they will be my slaves for life.

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A man gets a paternity test. It's better than beating his wife senseless due to his own insecurity.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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What did the dog say to the tree? Bark.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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A man is wrongfully convicted of murder and sent to prison. After a lengthy appeals process the guilty verdict is overturned and he walks away a free man.

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Q. Why is Obama stupid? A. That's an opinion, therefore i cannot answer that.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a psychopath

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What did little John do when he was bored? He went on Anti-Joke

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We started this thing together, I do not get it, he is like you said, just a little nerd...

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yo mother is so fat, the recursive function computing her mass causes a stack overflow.

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a man walks into a bar, when he leaves he thinks he can hold his liquor and kills a mother and two children attempting to drive home.

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A black man, a jew, a hispanic, and an asian are the only survivors of a plane crash, and end up on a deserted island, what do they do? Die.

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roses are red violets are blue start sucking my dick or ill kill you

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pants on the ground pants on the ground lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground

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When the sun goes down... Most of the guys pants goes down too. Just be straight XD

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What's white and black? Color blind.

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whats the diferrence between a bush and an old lady? it be wierd if a bush had an old lady.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have STD's, Now so do you!

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—Conversation started today— My God, why have you forsaken me? Seen 6:00 PM

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What did the white man say to the black bartender? I'll have a pint please.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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