Knock Knock? Who's there? Doctor Doctor Who? It is a science fiction show about a time traveller

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Who would win in a fight between superman and flash? Chuck Norris

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did romeo say to Juliet? A lot of things, Then he gave her a flower.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is worst then 9/11? What? Tiger woods

thumb_up thumb_down +8

EVERYONE, CREATE LOVE NOT WAR.. Between Josh and Dylan... WILD.. PASSIONATE.. LOVE!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How does a person with Alzheimers' poem go? Roses are red, Roses are red, Roses are red, Wait, what was I doing?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your BANANA.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

i've got a little something for you. in fact it's so small you can't see it. it's called spermatazoa

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis. -Rivrawr

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do an owl and a squirrel have in common? They can both fly! Except for the squirrel.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the man eat the turnip greens? Because he was morbidly obese, and needed to maintain a proper diet.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

two mormons missionaries knock on a door they are welcomed into the home and treated with kindness later the family is baptized. the mormons return home with a sense of accomplishment and purpose.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, but it was delicious.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Do you know why one side of the V formation that geese fly in is longer than the other? Because there's more geese on that side.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

no really what are ur names?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whats funnier than 24?????????????????????????????????????????? 25

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are Red. Violets are blue. I took a shit on your wife's face last night.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they're extinct.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops