A cat walks into a bar. The bartender says "What would you like to drink?" The cat says "Meow."

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Q: whats white and smells like shit A: my ass

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knock knock whos there micheal jackson too soon

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Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

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What do you call a dolphin mixed with a cheetah? I have no idea I was hoping you knew.

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Dick Cheney That's the joke

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Why did the policeman who's third wife just lost 20 pounds go to sleep? He was tired.

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a washing machine at him.

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Why did the old lady walk across the road? She was on her way to the convenience store on the other side.

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Why'd the plane crash? Because the pilot was an orange.

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Do you know what would happen if Hitler was still alive today. Nothing he's not.

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why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

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Q. Why couldn't Billy see the pirate movie? A. Because his mom didn't let him.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. wow i missed the entire purpose of this.

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Where does a one-legged waitress work? Wherever she can get good health insurance.

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? OUCH! what's your door knob made of? nails?

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Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

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Three girls are walking in the woods they see tracks one thinks it is a bear the other thinks it is a deer the last one thinks it is a lion They all argue till they get hit by a train and realized they were train tracks

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OMG THIS ACTUALLY WORKS! 1. Hold your breath for 2 mins 2. Die

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Why wouldn't Rose let go of Jack? Freddie told her that he was just a poor boy and nobody loves him.

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I don't have friends, so I'm anti-social.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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What do you call a black man with a peg leg? Disabled

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops