Why did the Indian cross the road? Trail of Tears.

Why did the boy get hit by a bus? HE didn't. He watched where he was going.

Two friends are arguing over who is the best pie maker. '' I've made pumpkin, apple, peach, cherry, blueberry, and sweet potato!" " Yeah well I've made all of those AND pecan!'' ''Yeah well have you ever made boysenberry pie?!" "No! What the hell!" *in a calm tone* " Yeah, me neither."

Balboa. Watch as Apollo Creed`s nephews son is trained by Rocky Balboa`s grandson`s neighbor to participate in the new highschool musical will they win this years golden plate? Spoiler: No they did well but lost to Clubber Lang`s and Ivan Drago`s gay sons adopted lovechild`s ballet number. But people kept cheering "BALBOA BALBOA BALBOA!" As Rocky Balboa`s grandson kept yelling "ADRIAAN, ADRIAAAAAAN!" while a picture of Rocky`s grandchild is shown in the background together with the American flag. Moral: This script may or might not have been made for a quick cash in, anyway, its coming out the next radioactive winter 2705.

A white man and a black man enter a public toilet. When they both begin to pee, the white man looks over at the black man. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype, and then feels slightly depressed over his closet homosexuality. Both men leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself asleep that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

I just flew in from New Zealand, and boy am I tired. It was a really long flight and I found it incredibly difficult to sleep in those seats, so I didn't bother and kept myself awake watching in-flight films the whole way.

A bar walks into a man... The man begins screaming uncontrollably as the corner of the building is inserted into his anus. Brick by brick, the bar forces its way inside the man's ass, as blood begins dripping down his legs. The man knows damn well it is impossible for such a large building to be contained inside him, but he grits his teeth and forces his ass open wider. His ribs break, his lungs collapse, and his now lifeless body is stretched into the shape of the bar. The bar is almost entirely consumed before the man's skin gives way to the bulging pressure...with an explosion of blood & organs, the shredded remains of the man are slung-shot around the lot where the bar formerly stood. The bar, now soaked in a mixture of blood & organ fluid, reflects upon the failure of its experiment. For the next attempt, a man of far greater fortitude must be used, so that his body does not burst so easily. Only then will it achieve its dream of becoming the first bar to walk into a man.

Study from real life: My trip to Texas. (From the time when I was interested in mormon-ism.) Texan: And here is my gun collection, great for shootin yer Mexican scum. Me: Uh I am Norwegian but my ancestors where Russian or something so my skin is... Texan: *points gun at me and pushes trigger halfways* Just kidding der son, sure you aint no Mexican though? Okay just checkin ya know... Me *sweating bullets* Texan guys gun go off almost hitting me and breaking a vase.. Conclusion: He blamed me, everyone had lunch outside later, everyone kept looking at the "trigger happy MEXICAN"... Nero: By then I began grasping the fact that I was better suited for the study of the dark arts... And also learned that in Mormonism, Heaven and Hell are planets locked into war, where black people where neutral, and red people are demon supporters, but WE CAN ALL BE SAVED BY BECOMING WHITE! JUST LIKE THE ANGEL MORONI! Conclusion two: Moroni... Lol.

Why is the baby on fire? Because there was a gas leak at the day care facility. It would have been a terrible tragedy had a heroic babysitter not come to the rescue.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being ripped apart by an angry orangatang because orangatangs have the strength of ten men.

So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

One day there was a princess born in the jungle. The story goes, that she'd be saved by a grand champion - a Hero. So the day came that she fell in love. After a few magical years, they broke up and she realized that fairy tales are for little girls.

I saw how annoying the poem in the post below me was, so I decided to create an extreme version of it, to hopefully cause psychological distress to all of you readers. It goes something like this: Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within 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the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns 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cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply 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six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out 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six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan 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::ring::ring::ring:: Hello? Is your refrigerator running? Yes, yes it does! Why? I work for a local home appliance superstore and we are having a special on repairs and maintenance. Would you like to try our home appliance maintenance offer? I'm sorry no! I do not actually have a refrigerator. I only have a cooler. Bye! ::the man shuts off his cell phone and sets it on top of his styro-foam cooler as he mumbles to himself alone while on his boat, "Darn advertisement offers!" and continues to fish in the middle of the lake::

mike:what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas tom:cancer ahahahaha mike:he got a skateboard jerk nararrator: this skate board will be worth less because he has no legs

There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

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How do you kill and red head? Throw your mom at them!

Q: How many Jews does it take to fix a light bulb? A: 2, one to hold the light bulb and the other to turn the ladder

Im black and want attention. I also love fried chicken and love Africa call for a good, African-American time..... Im black 4025406623

Q: What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? A: Not struggling with a debilitating mental or physical handicap.

What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

What do you get when you cross an ugly hobo and a diabetic? Don't talk about your mom like that.

Q:What's similar between a squirel and a eagle? A:Both have wings, exept for the squirrel.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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