What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp? There is none, one is a female human being with blonde hair and the other is a headlamp with a halogen lightbulb.

roses are red violets are blue i have 5 fingers the middle ones for you.

What did the cancer patient say before they died? I am in so much pain. I love you all

Q. What happened to the man that kept an open hand? A. He is in jail because he beat his family

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Open up.

How do you kill a blonde? Kick her off a cliff.

How do you upset Muslims? Kill their leader. Whoops, already did.

What did the robet say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. Its funny cuase the robot had no arms.

What did Batman say to Superman before they got in the car? Get in the car.

A dyslexic athiest..."'There is no Dog!"

Wow, that is one of the things I would think I would react all bad to, but that`s, a strangely attractive quality in you.

What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer

Q. what did the hobo say to the rich guy A. nothing the hobo wa a mute

Why couldn't Horton hear a who? He was a loaf of bread.

Turkey Balls

so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad with colours Nice T!ts

How did the black kid get in school? By taking the bus.

Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

why did the kids pull the fire alarm? because there was a fire.

How do you confuse a blond? Nordic mytholigi. That is, if shes american

What's the deal with airline food? Food tastes different on an airplane. The atmosphere dries out your nose, the air pressure numbs 1/3 of your taste buds, and low humidity levels give you cotton mouth. These factors cause the food to taste worse than it normally would.

Sammy bought 48 donuts. He ate 36. What was Sammy left with? Diabetes. Sammy was left with diabetes.

Hey I just meet you. And this is crazy, but im a Zombie. And you looks tasty!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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