What starts with f and ends in u-c-k? a:****

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How do you drown a blond girl? Forcibly hold her head under water until it enters the lungs and prevents the absorption of oxygen leading to cerebral hypoxia and myocardial infarction.

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Jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams,heat does.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse's mother had terminal cancer

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Why did the kid lose his mom? She was shot.

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You might be a redneck if you hate your father and you live in a trailer

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane act

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how do you wake up a cat? you break it.

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What does A.D.D stand for? Attention deficit disorder

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If dogs hate cats and cats hate mice, than what do mice hate? Themselves.

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Whats black and white and red all over? A dead zebra

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Q: what's red and covers an elementary school wall? A: a red crayon

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Where was the Decoration Of Independence Signed? At the bottom.

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How do you make a grown man cry? Fling a rubber band at him.

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Whose your daddy? Not me

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Getting shot.

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life is like a rapist. sometimes they're nice other times, they ram you in the ass.

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

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I am the best i am the worst My wife was buried in hearse

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what is black and white and read all over? A penguin in a blender

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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Boy: Why is the sky blue? Man: Because it is

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What did the gym coach tell his student? Come on! You can do it! Push harder!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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