Two horses were discussing their racing records. The first said, "In my whole life I had won ten races." The second horse says, "Well, I've won twelve of those!" A greyhound trotting by chimes in, "Not bragging guys, but in my career, I've won twenty!" "Unbelievable!" exclaimed both horses. "It's a talking dog!"

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick... Jack didn't make it over the candle stick and died.

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what happened to the black man that fell of the bridge? he drowned due to the fact the african-americans do not swim very well.

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Why are black people scared of chainsaws? Because the chainsaws go run nigga nigga run.

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Did you hear the one about the pizza and the salamander? Neither did I.

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Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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Q. Why did the lotion soothe the person's skin? A. Because its ingredients were selected because of their propensity to soothe skin.

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How do you stop a drunk driver? With a minivan and family of four.

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A man and his wife go out to dinner, after dinner they return home safely and the man kisses his wife good night. He then leaves his house, and goes to a bar with another women. He is a polygamast and it is socially acceptable in his town.

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Why did the girl drop out of school? She was being sexually assaulted by her mothers alcoholic boyfriend and was having trouble coping.

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Whats really ugly and horny Jake's mom

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Knock knock. Who's there? Navy Seals. *BOOM* *waiting* "Yeah, he's dead." -Navy Seals

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what did the left foot say to the right foot? Nothing, feet don't talk

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names

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Why did the legless person roll down a hill? Because he was in a wheelchair

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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Three Jew begin to walk down the street, they then pursue walking and purchase many goodies from vendors.

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(Pretend you're an orphan.) Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.

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Yo momma so hairy she needs to shave herself.

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A doctor tells a woman he needs to take her rectal temperature. The woman tells the doctor "That's not my rectum." The doctor promptly apologizes and conducts the rest of the check up.

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why did the girl chug her tub of frosting? she had no spoon

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Your mom is so ugly- Wait, hold on. How are you born?

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a man walks into a bar with a poodle stuffed halfway up his rectum... WHY ARE YOU WAITING FOR A PUNCHLINE!? MY GOD! THIS MAN HAS A DOG UP HIS ANUS!

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Q: Why did the black man shit himself? A: He experienced post-mortem bowel release after he was murdered due to his racial identification.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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