Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because numbers, like people, are afraid of all things bigger than themselves

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When my brother was hanging at YOUR cross, he asked "daddy" "Oh father why!" Then lightning struck and the weather went to fuck. Moral: WHAT KIND OF RESPONSE IS THAT YOU PIECE OF SHIT!?

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All the kids at school we're playing soccer on a sunny day except Jenny, because she had a headache and didn't come to school that day

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What do an onion and a hamster have in common? They are both in my Grandma's omelette.

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Why isn't Juley at school today? Oh Her father chopped off her arms and legs, gagged her, ripped out both eyes and threw her in a lake tied to cinderblocks!

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What did the snowman say when winter was ending? -Nothing you dumbass

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What do you do when you come across a dead baby? Add it to your collection.

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Q: Why did the purple cantalope eat the curtains at midnight? A: Sassafrass.

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They say laughter is the best medicine but i've always found it hard to laugh at cancer.

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Knock Knock Whos there? You You Who? Who You Oh im Jim.

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Whats long, green and falls out of trees? A canoe. Why did the old man fall out of the tree? He was in the canoe.

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Why was the black person sent to the back of the bus? All of the front and middle seats were taken.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

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Roses are blue Violets are polka dot I suck at rhyming Pandas

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what did the thief say to the man that lost his car? i stole your car.

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A man walks into a bar and says, "Hey, Jim, your wife just died from terminal cancer." Jim then says, "Cool. Hey, do you know if the games on tonight?"

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Why did Jimmy drop his Ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I have a dead body, What do I do.

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Roses are red,vilots are blue just wait till I poo and till i kiss you

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whats red, sits in a corner and is slowly getting smaller and smaller baby with a cheese grater whats green and sits motionless in the corner same baby 2 weeks later

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How many gays does it take to change a lightbulb? It's COMPLETELY circumstantial.

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I used to be into necrophilia, bestiality, and sado-masochism; but then I realized I was just beating a dead horse.

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How many babies can you fit in a blender? None, the blender is too small. Also it is illegal to kill a baby infant because they are considered human. You can get life in prison or the death penalty for committing such a heinous crime.

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A woman is shopping at a grocery store. She picks up a half gallon of skim milk, 2 loaves of wheat bread, one dozen organic eggs, and some carrots. She goes to the checkout line. "You must be single." the clerk says. Amazed at the flattering insight of the clerk, the woman says, "Yes I am. How could you tell?". "Because you're ugly".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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