An englishman, a scotsman and an irishman walk into a bar together. They sit down at the bar, and the barman says, "What is this, some kind of joke?!"

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Why couldn't the boy with no arms and no Legs swim? Because he was black.

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What do you call it when a multiple personality disorder person masturbates? Rape.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzy, she has no arms

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what do you make if you get a cow, then kill it. ...Steak

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A horse walks into a bar the bartender says "Why the long face?" and the horse said "My wife died of terminal cancer"

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What is black and blue and red all over? My wife.

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what do you call a ginger......... billy and mickee.......

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What's old, silver, and smells like old cheese? A fork with old cheese on it.

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What does the blond say when she walks out of the salon Nothing, she is hit by a car, and promptly goes into a coma and hasnt said anything since

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What did the boyfriend ask his girlfriend for on his birthday? Pokemon Yellow version.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, take this medication, and call me if you have any symptoms of nausea or heartburn.

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Why does the man have mayonaise in his pants? A: I don't know, I was hoping you could tell me.

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Why did the blonde fall off the cliff? She was blind and deaf so she never knew where to go, and her parents kicked her out for her problems. It is a sad situation that noone wants to go through

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awkward moment when someone pretends to be Mr. Bear and stuffs up his own joke

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despite popular opinion to the contrary you shouldn't eat mercury.

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It's bright in here *puts on? sunglasses* Ahhh, that's better...

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What's worse than crying over spilt milk? The Holocaust.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from a Black family reunion.

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Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? It depends on a variety of factors such as the size of your mouth, the amount of saliva, etc.

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Pikachu says "Pikachu!" Squirtle says "Squirtle!" Charmander says "Charmander!" Ash is upset because he cannot communicate with his Pokemon in their foreign tongue.

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why did billy fall on the sidewalk? he got stabbed

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When life gives you lemons......you should be really scared because life shouldnt be giving you anything....espically lemons so if life offers you lemons you better run

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops