your momma's so fat that we are all seriously concerned for her health.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

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Q.Why did Bruno Mars marry the blond? A.Because it was a beautiful night and he was looking for something DUMB to do.

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Once there was a dog, another one came to it and then there were two.

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Some of these jokes are funny, others are sad.

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There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe, When he woke up one night he discovered with fright, That the friendly old neighbor from next door had broken into his house with a chain saw in an alcohol-induced murder attempt.

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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This one time at Concentration camp.... My friends all died cause they were chosem in the Selection

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How many Soviet Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, in Soviet Russia, light bulbs are an unavailable commodity because the tyrannical government has called for a ban on unnatural illumination. A fact which is not lost on Mikhail, the light bulb maker whose wife died because his lack of business caused him to miss payments on his hospital bills.

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

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What did one duck say to the other? "Quack" Ducks don't talk. But if it were to say something it would probably mention how it is concerned about the fact that the majority of people on the internet don't know what ducks say to each other.

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If a train leaves Chicago at 50 miles per hour, how hard does the baby strapped to the tracks get splattered?

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What goes from pink to red in 5 seconds? A pink shirt when red pain is spilled on it.

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A man walks into a bar and is shot in the face

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What did Michelle Obama get for Christmas? Cancer

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Why did the man have a really short temper? HOW THE **** SHOULD I KNOW???

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a whiskey sour and a mop.

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What did the bi-polar girl do when she found our her ex-boyfriend was living with another woman? Nothing; she was happy for their new relationship and realized life moves on, in addition to taking the daily appropriate amount of medication prescribed by her doctor.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Hearing the same holocaust joke seventeen times.

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why did the bear cross the road? to get cream cheese.

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What do you want to be when you grow up? I want to be a .... The boy didn't finish his sentence because he got hit by a fridge.

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When would you find a Mexican, Asian, Black and white guy hanging out? Never

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What did Tiger Woods say when his wife hit him with a golf club? "Why did you hit me with a golf club".

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Why was 10 afraid of 9? Because 9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1...Kaboom!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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