Where does Mario go after you finish the game? Drug rehab.

What grows best during the cold Winter season? The number of deaths among homeless people.

What did one cow say to the other cow? Moo

What is a waste of time and money? Your mother.

Jane was playing in the back of the bus with an eyeball...up and down,up and down.An old woman asks her : Jane,what are you doing?She responds : I`m trying to see who`s the driver

How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

A fireman walks into a bar. Everyone has burned alive already, and he's too late to save them.

what do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet? last years hide and go seek champion

Why did the kid lay down? Because his legs were chopped off

What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? - "Get down"

why did the kid struggle in school? because hes mentally retarted

What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? The lawyer is a human being whose profession is to give legal advice and assistance to clients and represent them in court or in other legal matters while the catfish is a freshwater or marine fish with whiskerlike barbels around the mouth, typically bottom-dwelling. -BG_Shank_A

Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms Why couldnt he get up? He had no legs What did the boy get for Christmas? Cancer What did the boy get for Easter? A funeral Knock, knock Who's there? Not the boy.

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

Why did Rihanna sing "to the left, to the left"? Because people usually sing in songs

Knock knock, Who's th- IMA FIRIN' MA LAZOR

Knock,Knock Who's there? The Police, Your under arrest for urinating on a toliet.

how do you know if your friend is your best friend? if he cries you cry, if he laughs you laughs, if he jumps out a window you laugh again.

John: Knock knock Jack: Who's there? John: Whale Jack: I don't know a Whale, go away. John violently rips off Jack's cock in becaus he's sick of his shit.

What did the drunk man say to his wife? "I love you, Honey"

Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

how do you prevent a chicken from contracting aids?? you make him a little chicken condom.

a man touches girls butt ...... she sharts her pants

You know your in Houston when... The highway sign says so.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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