Q. How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A. Actually woodchucks can't chuck wood only beavers can

I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

What do you call a black man in the south? An example of diverse America

your in court a woman police officer says anything you say can and will be held against you. the man replies titty

A horse walks into a bar and Shits John Taffer is Pissed

Q: How do you confuse a blond A: You don't they are born that way

It's raining, its pouring, the old man is snoring. He bumps his head, and is quickly rushed to the ER for serious head trauma

eyebrows up means ur flirting this isnt a joke dont laugh

Why is the sky blue? You like men.

What did the Jew say to the black guy? Hey whatsup?

What did the frog say when it was attacked? Ribbit.

What's big fat and hairy? Peter

What did the zero say to the eight? I don't know,numbers are inanimate objects so they can't talk.God, what did you think?

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

How come the man could read the directions? Because it was right side up.

A hasidic Rabbi and a member of Hezbollah enter a bar in a Jewish settlement. (No, of course they didn't.)

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme. This one doesn't.

Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

What's worse than breaking a leg? Breaking two legs.

What is big white and will kill you if it falls out of a tree in winter A refrigerator

Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

How do you make an ugly person not ugly? Put a bag over their head. With,, a smiley face.

Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

Hitler wasn't such a bad guy. He did kill Hitler.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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