- Anti Joke

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

“Ok, time for bed” … is what I said to the empty living-room. It was getting late, and the internet no longer amused me. I picked up my cell phone, rooted through the couch cushions until I located the remote, and turned off the television that had been nothing but background noise for the last few hours. I made sure the front and back doors were securely locked, walked around the back of the couch, and turned off the only light. A tap on the screen of my phone created just enough light to keep from busting a toe on an errant table leg. Because my cats have an evil tendency to lie in the middle of the hallway, I aimed the small amount of light from my phone directly in front of my tired and shuffling feet. I’d only covered a small distance before I knew, from many nights of this same regimen, that I was getting close to the bedroom door. At this point my arm started the slow upward arc that would eventually illuminate the now pitch-black opening to the comfort of my room. The light emanating from my cell was quite dim, and this action had become quite rote, so my arc was about waist level before I noticed a slight variation of the familiar black of the open doorway. At that point, and in a disturbingly short amount of time, five things happened nearly simultaneously: My arm, the arm carrying the phone, continued to rise in its predetermined arc, having been an object in motion which would stay in motion. I released a small gasp and exclaimed to my husband that his sudden appearance in the dark had startled the breath from me. I remembered that my husband was at work. The light arc reached its apex on a face of protruding nail-like teeth. A face suspiciously bereft of eyes, with a gaping, oozing, bloody pit where a nose should have been. The light went out.

so theres a plane, inside the plane are 500 solid bricks one falls out, how many are left? 499 What are the three steps to putting an elephant into a refrigirator? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, close the fridge. What are the four steps to putting a dear in the fridge? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer and then shut the fridge. It's Simba's birthday, what animal isn't there? The deer. its still in the fridge. a lady is walking across a street, she suddenly falls to the ground why? Because the brick hit her in the face. (:

Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

Whats from Hattersley? Someone who lives in Hattersley.

Why didn't Tyron run from the police? He had no legs.

How do you make a plumber cry You kill it's family

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge.

What's the difference between The Hulk and The Thing? One is green.

What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You know what? SCREW YOU!

Why did the turtle cross the road? Because there was a chicken stapled to his face.

Q: What happens when Lisa drops an iPad? A: She plays Desperado on the sax.

Why couldn't tom concentrate on his homework? Because he was a loaf of bread.

When life gives you lemons, you probably just found lemons.

Q: What do you do when the light burns out A: Just replace it with a bulb from a less used room

Q. why did the boy who just had his first kiss feel no emotion? A. He got hit a Croquet mallet and died

What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "come" on your face.

What did the boy skip rocks with? -A rock

Your mom is so ugly, she suffers from severe depression and regularly contemplates suicide.

Father Time and Mother Nature did the nasty, and had a kid called humanity. It had down syndrome. Very sad.

I'm not saying my mother-in-law is fat, because she is anorexic.

What do you call a black man with a peg leg? Disabled

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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