What did the little boy get for Christmas? Presents.

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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Panda walks into a restaurant with gun ready to eat, shoot and leave to finish a really good grammar joke, but before he can eat, Animal Control tranquilize him and seize his gun. So all he can do is leave unconscious. Meanwhile someone takes enjoyment in slowly burning the dictionary entry for "Panda".

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whos best at KS3 irish and is sexy? tiarnan i lied about the sexy part

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What do you get when you combine a cat and a dog? A Cog

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Why do gingers get mad when people call them gingers? Because it hurts their feelings

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother. Please open the door. Your mother who? You were adopted.

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Pretend you are in a box and there is no way out. How do you get out? You don't

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Who's the fastest kid in AA

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

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Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

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what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

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A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

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I wouldn't consider the Titanic sinking to be a disaster, ????It is better down where it is wetter under the sea! ????.

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why do elephants have such flat feet.....? from all those damn trees they have been juming out of....

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What do you call a person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk? A person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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Roses are Red I shit in your Stew When you eat it The joke is on you

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What did the black guy say when after he jumped in the pool? Wow, its kinda chilly.

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Why aren't fish good at telling jokes? Their neural structure isn't capable of processing languages or creating a method of communicating with humans, thus they both do not know any jokes since they are incapable of understanding the concept of humour.

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wanna hear a clean joke? bob took a bath with bubbles. wanna hear a dirty joke? bubbles was a man :) i heard this somewhere and it made me laugh :)

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your momma is so fat she eats a lot of things

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Potassium? K.

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There was a boy named Johnson. He was a happy boy who had a mother and father who loved. One day he didn't do his homework

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops