I woke up in bed with someone this morning. I forget why this is a joke, but your mother is a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall? ....Nothing fish don't run What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall? ...Damn

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Two Jews are sitting in a large oven. They realize it is a dangerous place to be and get out of the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Yo Momma is so fat, she often chooses to take the elevator instead of the stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the catfish cross the road? Catfish can't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did Jenny fall off her bike? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Jenny

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Its behind you like if you looked behind

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a gun, get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

kennah campion when she talks

thumb_up thumb_down +5

3 men walk into a bar. The 4th one ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A muslim gets on an airplane and takes his seat. The plane lands safely and he enjoys his vacation in Florida.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the cat say to the chicken? Meow

thumb_up thumb_down +5

So there's a monkey in a bar. I forgot the rest of the joke but your moms a whore

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A horse walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer, the bartender quickly takes out a shot gun and shoots the horse because he is secretly dealing horse meat to tescos

thumb_up thumb_down +5

whats worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in ten dumpsters.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q:Why did the black man fall down? A: he got hit in the face by a refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A Jew walks into a bar, he buys it.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's worse than finding out that your dog has worms? Finding out that you have worms.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops