My Friend Philip had his lip removed today. he is just Phil now.

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Why was the black Jew sad? He had to sit at the back of the oven

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what did the scene kid get for christmas? a gift card which he used ironically.

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smell the vitamin C

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What happens when you roll a quarter down the street in Mexico? It rolls for a small period of time but eventually it falls over and stops rolling because quarters aren't able to roll very far on imperfect surfaces.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

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Why did Joe not cross the road? Because the Pedestrian Crossing light said not to.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.... Knock, Knock, Who's there?: Not Sarah

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a man walked into a bar, sat down and had a drink with his friends.

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Q: Why didnt jim win the race ? A: Because he swalowed his tounge.

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What do you call a lawyer without a brain? -Dead

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A man walks into a bar...so what? People do it all the time.

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how do you stop a black man from drowning take your foot off his head

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Gentlemen, when she says no, she always means yes. Unless, of course, your rhetoric is of a sexual nature.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Just gonna stand there and watch me roar. But that's alright because I am a dinosaur.

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Why did the black man eat KFC? Because he got hungry.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Milwaukee? They woke him up.

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Q.What happens when Torres scores A. He doesn't

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What was the babies first word? Nothing: It was a still-born.

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How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

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Whats worse than tripping? Getting shot

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How do you drown a blonde? A: Drowing any person no matter the color of their hair is conpletely illegal and considered murder.

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Gay people: "Quit calling Justin Bieber gay, we don't want him either."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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