Get on the boat.

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If you call Dani a dog one more time, lick a gooch nut suckers. XoXo Jamie <3

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Math Problem: John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one . Though , I do have cancer .

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what happens when you try to believe it's not butter? 34 Indonesian kids lose their job.

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What did one dog say to the other? Nothing silly...dogs can't talk.

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God saw himself. Finally, proof.

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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud, and cross back again? Because he was a dirty double crosser

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Two giant paint bubbles!

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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yo mamma's so fat you're fat too, because it's genetical

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Yo mommas so dumb she took an IQ test and scored low on it

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what did hellen keller name her dog? answer: unnumnumnum

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Why did tigger look in the toilet? Because he is being treated in a mental institution and eats his own fecal matter.

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A horse walks into the bar and says "why the long face?" The bartender replies "hey! I was supposed to say that!"

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Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the Frisbee gettiing bigger and bigger and bigger.." Then it hits me.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your titties super glued to a triceritops' as cheeks while the triceritops has chronic diahrea

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Why did the math student refuse to do his geometry homework? Straight lines do not exist, so there is no real world application to any geometric shape.

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The Israeli asked the Japanese guy to open his eyes The Japanese guy said, I'm not squinting you crazy Jew. You're the one that sold me these cheap glasses.

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roses are red violets are blue i smell meth abkfjbekfhbkfsdshjfbkhb

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What do short Mexicans do after a hot shower? Dry off with a towel like everyone else,

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A brunette, a redhead, and a blond are all stuck on an island 100 miles away from the nearest civilization with no resources. After 2 weeks, they decide that no one is going to save them and they have to swim for it. The brunette swims 25 miles and then gets eaten by sharks. The redhead swims 75 miles and then drowns. The blond swims 99 miles but got tired, so she swam back.

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Why did the girl run over the road? Her buttons rolled to the other side! (From a book called... Al-capone does my shirts) (Natilie)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops