Why didn't the kid return home after school? He was having a sleep-over with a bunch of his friends. Who all died from a robbery.

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A man walks into a bar. He asks for a beer. One of the bar tenders twlls him they are all out. He takes out his gun. He has 1 bullet and there are 3 bar tenders. He wants to kill them all. What does he do? A: Shoots 1 and pegs bricks at the other two.

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what happens if you fart to hard? A.you shit yourself

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Who do u talk to when everyone is ignoring you? Nobody will talk to you so what's the point?

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you But the roses have wiltered The violets are dead The sugar bowl is empty And so is your head

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How did Harry potter open the door? He had the key

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What did the fat man say when he saw the giant twinky on the billboard? I wish that twinky was real, because I am too poor to pay my bills, am getting audited, and cannot feed my four children on minimum wage.

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away? What about the vampires?

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A poor woodcutter accidentally dropped his axe into the nearby river when taking a particularly forceful swipe at the tree he was cutting. He felt so dejected he wept. Then, the goddess of the river appeared. "What ails thee, my dear man?" she asked. "My axe -- it fell in the river!" stuttered the weeping woodcutter. "Do not worryI am the goddess of this river, and will find your axe!" said the River Goddess and dived into the river. After waiting eagerly for several minutes, the woodcutter was resigned to the fact that he had imagined the River Goddess.

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Why did the skeleton not go to the party? Because without the aid of various ligaments and muscles that would be attached to the average human being's skeleton, he was not able to move himself so much as an inch.

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What did a boy dying from cancer get for Christmas? The news that his cancer progressed and he would soon die. He underwent a surgery that got rid of the cancer and he was cured. He ran out of the hospital in excitement and got hit by a bus. He recovered slowly, but lived. By this time it was June and his birthday, he returned to school later that year. He got called fat and committed suicide.

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what's the only thing worse than losing a pen before a test? getting raped by a pedifile. -teagan doherty-

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what's worse than stubbing your toe on cement being a Jew during the holcaust

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why is coltin alexander such a duche? because no one loves him

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whats worse than having the flu? having cancer

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Roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers the middle one is for you.

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Why did Hayden Bryant walk down the street? Because he can, dont doubt Hayden Bryant.

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What's most weird about necrophilia? They copulate with dead bodies.

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A teen walks in on his parents having sex. He then vomits in his mouth and shuts the door.

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why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide? you would too if your name was uuhuhuhduhh

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why was the mother sad? her sons school was bombed by terrorists. there we no survivors

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad with colours Nice T!ts

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Hej Erik och Leo!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road. grass was greener on the other side!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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