When life gives you lemons, squeeze them in someone's eyes.

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Why did John get hard? He froze to death

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Q: Why did the boy fall of the swing? A: He had no arms.

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How many Babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them

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whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

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a black man walks into a shop, he buys his groceries, then leaves...

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What do you call a house full of Mexicans? A house

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What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

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Where did Sarah go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. The fight began and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing you say when you don't want to fight anymore and you let the other person win?" The other guy says to the challanger, "I give up?" Then the challenger yells. "I WIN!"

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Why didn't the policeman stop the bank robbery? He wasn't there

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How did the man die? He was killed alive.

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How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

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who is gay wit mon james cornish

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How did the clown crash his car? A horrible tornado chrashed through the town.

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Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his forehead

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Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

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What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

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Darth Vader: Luke, I am your father! Luke: You're not my dad!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHA PENIS

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A dog walks into a bar. The owner got a fake service dog identification and everyone really enjoyed it.

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did you know helen keller had a dog? neither did she....

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They got in a crash and died.

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A turtle walks into a bar. The bar tender says "what will it be?" the turtle doesnt reply because its a turtle and the bar tender is sent to a mental hospital for talking to turtles.

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Why are you gay? Because ***** you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops