How do you throw a party in space? You planet!

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What do you do when you find a black guy bleeding on your porch? You should call an ambulance! This man is hurt!

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Just so you are warned here folks, some of the jokes down here are really nasty, like you know... Antijokes... But luckily you got my family friendly stories about sex, incest, panties, grenades, dripping Meows, yeah... Regular family show stuff... IT HAPPENS TO US ALL! Right? Please tell me right? Riiight? Right? Yes? Phew, okay, for a moment I actually thought you where gonna tell me I was normal...

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How do you drown a blonde? Intentionally attempting to drown anyone, regardless of their hair color, is murder which is illegal and morally wrong to do.

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what do the students call their red-headed friend? Mike.

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Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Um no horses are overrated.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse's mother had terminal cancer

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How hard is it to cross a man with a tree? Jesus only needed a few nails

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Naw, not now, I don't want to be assimilated, I am a bit of a wuss right now, really tired.

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? Well, contrary to popular belief, it is NOT Master Pain's (Betty's) "butt". You would most likely get a bungee jumping owl.

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Nice ass. Too bad it's cracked in the middle, though.

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What direction do 5 gay guys walk? I am unable to answer that because they are all aspiring to work in different occupational fields.

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What's black and red, and covers most of your body? Fourth degree burns. You should say your goodbyes.

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Whats worse than being rapped by a giant scorpion. Being gangbanged by a couple giant scorpions

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Why did the man not get home to his loving family? He blew up.

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Why is 6 scared of 9? Because 9 is a zombie.

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What's the best thing about Windows OS? It's very versatile and can run a wide selection of programs, tools, and games.

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A boy asks his teacher for a eraser....he was given a blue pen. Turns out he was in space.

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what is 2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2-2+2x0 20

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Why didn't Rosa Parks get her fat black ass up? Because she was an avid partier and had anal with roughly 8 different guys the night before.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes...? No, you're still Patrick!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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