Jesse uses a prescription shampoo called " greasey poop" because he feels like his hair doesnt look greasy enough. He cries himself asleep every night because he wants a slim body like the rest of the cool kids, so he eats his pain away, which digs him an even deeper hole. the life of Jesse zigenbein is quite tragic to say the least. Please donate 10$ to the "eat ourselves to sleep" campaign

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A man is walking on the beach and discovers a lamp in the sand. He takes it home to polish it. Eventually it looks like new and he gets a fairly reasonable price from an antique shop.

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So you are "The Nero" are you not? How ironic... ...I got nothing on you, let me ask you however, why did you quit the underground society? What changed your lifestyle so much? I mean I accept that you did not do it out of fear or cowardice, but why did you leave it up to the rest of us to try to hold together the last remains of freedom and social information? What? To use your techniques in order to entrance people into buying your books? How is that so different? I am not saying that I consider your methods lesser, because nobody here does, but if you can explain how this makes you better, I would appreciate it, I am certain that most people would.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, some dont

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What do polar bears have that no other animal has? Polar bear babies.

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Joe: Hey, why are your counters all red and your blender looks broken? Me: The same reason why Mrs. Johnson's baby is missing. ajl

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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wheres an unexpected place to find sand? a human pancreas.

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What do you call a horse with two legs? A kangaroo

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Q: why did the white man buy a burge A: cuz he was hungry

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The one under this is a fake. i wrote the real one

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woman's rights

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What is the worst thing to say to a dying person? After you die I'm going to defile your corpse, nan.

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America's Got Talent WIN! Britian's Got Talent WIN! Mexico's Got Talent WTF!

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what do u call a kid at school a school kid and i have enough of these anti jokes they are not funny

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

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How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None they would just beat the room for being black.

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Dick Cheney That's the joke

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I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

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Why did the chicken cross the road I don't know

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How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

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What happened when a Black man ran into a white supremacist? They exchanged insurance information

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Asian women drivers...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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