Q: What do they call watermelons in Indiana A:watermelons

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Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a bag of dead babies? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

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what did the man say to the other man he bumped into? sorry. and they never saw eachother again

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The good part of "Age" of Ultron? THANOS REIGNS! Disagree? Just leave the green thumb and fuck off!

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Sharing means caring, Caring is socialism

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Why does the rabbit go in the hole? because that's where it lives.

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Knock Knock Opens door because they were expecting visitors

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When is a Jewish persons bedtime? When the brain releases endorphins, causing drowsiness, which usually leads one to sleep.

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did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

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Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the cupboard cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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how much swag could a swagchuck chuck, if a swagchuck could chuck swag?

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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An Irishman walks into a bar he asks for directions, and leaves.

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Why did the man scream when his dog ran into the room? Because he was afraid of dogs.

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What do you call a group of white males wearing hoods and setting fires? Cold

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Why couldn't the man ever reach his dream of becoming a professional athlete? He was pronounced with Alzheimer at a young age and could never remember his dream the next day.

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Yo' mama's so poor that she can't afford many of the privileges of everyday life.

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Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

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What do a chicken and a grape have in comon? - They're both purple, except for the chicken.

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Why did the man drop one dozen long stem roses? Because he was hit by a taxi cab

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What do you call the black stuff in between an elephant's toes? Depending on the location of the elephant it is either dirt or it may be tar in the case of an elephant in captivity.

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I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

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What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops