A Black man, and Jewish man, and a Asian man walk into a bar. They then proceed to buy a drink, leave the bar, and move on with their day.

What does a penguin and a watermelon have in common? They all come from Earth.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

2 muffins were in the oven when one turned to the other and said. "Damn it's hot in here" The second muffin looked at him with a shocked expression and exclaims "She's burning the potatoes!"

What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

why did the bear fall out of the tree? He died. Why did the raccoon fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the bear.

What long black and tasty? Licorice

why was the little boy sad he found out he had breast cancer

Whats fast, dead and make of CGI. Paul Walker

Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One.

what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

Women's rights.

A black man goes outside to shoot some hoops. He misses all of them because not all blacks are good at basketball.

why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms why did suzie get hit by a bus? she was blind knock knock whos there? not suzie.

Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

What's brown and sticky? Poop.

Can a match box? No, but a tin can.

Patrick, I just thought of something funnier than 24. Lemme hear it. 25.

How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

can't you hear that TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT, TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT flute (nicki minaj in a past life listening to a symphony)

How did the failing slut get an A -she studied really hard

Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colorblind, I hate my life

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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