Barbara and Martin died in their apartment. The neighbor walked in and found glass and water everywhere. How did they die? -Barbara and Martin were fish.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know because he got hit by a car.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Barack Obama. Ok, come on in Mr. President!

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A banker makes some poor economic investments with other people's money. turns out the people can never get the money back. the banker walks away like nothing happened. the government does nothing to prosecute the man. Somewhere in there his wife leaves him.

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Why did the Iraqi airline crash? The pilot was a tomato.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? An ambulance.

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A couple picks up a hitch-hiker with an ax on the side of the road. The hitch-hiker says "Thank you for the ride."

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Roses are red Violets are blue I love you a lot But you're dead and I have unhealthy necrophiliac tendencies

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I stabbed someone in my garden, There's blood everywhere

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What did Steve Hagen say to Steve Walters? "We have the same first name."

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good because it is important to keep food chilled to prevent it from spoiling and wasting you money

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9-11 please state your emergency. My house is flooding! Dad, youre in the swimming pool.

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Knock knock who's there atch watch who? bless you

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What's the difference between an alien and Obama? - Nothing they are both aliens.

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Do I ever ask yo a question that I havn't given you the answer to Mr Hearty.

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A chicken crossed the road. It was run over before reaching the other side. by fast asleep

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Yo mamma's so fat that the gravity required to keep her on the ground is significantly smaller than an average sized human.

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What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

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Q: How do you eat a dead baby? A: One piece at a time.

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Did u hear about the jew that bought something not on sale? Neither did i.

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How do you kill a dwarf? You put rope around his neck and attach the other end to a concrete slab. Proceed to then through him in the ocean.

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knock knock... who's there? uninterrupted cow uninterrupted cow who?? exactly....

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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What is funny? Your football official having a heart attack

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops