A man walks into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian quickly picks out such a book and hands it to him, because to deny him the book would break the conventions of a library.

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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What's the difference between a duck and a bicycle? They both have handlebars. Except for the duck.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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The american education system.

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Question:Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Answer:Because she had no arms or legs. Question:What did little Susie get for Christmas? Answer: a bike, and cancer Question: what did little Susie get next Christmas? Answer: nothing, she didn't live that long... Knock knock Who's there Not little Susie

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roses are red violets are green id love to flick owen cliffords mams bean

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What's fat and round and has a ballsack nose? Mr Chicken

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Theaters say silence is golden... Trap silence in a jar, make millions.

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why did the chicken cross the road? there was a black man walking towards him

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What do you do if your walking into a room full of Lions and Jaguars? You stop walking.

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What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

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Roses Are Red , Violets Are Blue , Go Die .

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Yo' Mama is so fat, her driver's license says, "picture continued on other side."

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Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

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What does it take to shit in a shower?? To choke on a whambar and be 90 kgs!

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Why are you asking me this question? That's awful and you should be ashamed of yourself.

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What's worse than losing the remote? A steamroller going backwards on the highway.

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Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

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Your mum is such a slut, I'd reccomend she seeks psychiatric help, as her deviant promiscuity is clearly a phsical manifestation of some deep rooted psychological disfunction. We all wish her well.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was clumsy.

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Good job, son.

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How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

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why was six afraid of seven? it's a long story, and six doesn't want to talk about it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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