What looks like mud, smells like mud and eats mud? An African

What wuld u do for a klondike bar? Nothing taste like shit.

tea with milk?

What did the horse say to the man? The man woke up from his dream so he didn't know either

Anti-Joke is a sticky wicket.

Spongebob. "Hey Patrick, I thought of something funnier than 24." Patrick "Let me hear it." Spongebob "25"

Why are the asians on cabin services? Because they do not speak english well enough to converse with guests.

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

What do you call the man with no arms or legs, swimming in the bay? Bob.

What does a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them are a police officer.

Why did sally fall off the swing? Because her grandfather hit her with a wrench.

Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

A man walks into a house, and the next day was taken to the hospital for a minor concussion and a possible vision deficiency.

What's the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage...

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza is an Italian food and a jew is a human that practices the Jewish faith

were did the gay guy go nowere because it was raining outside

There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

Why did the puppy get shot? It lived in Detroit.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It is not a sentient animal and is unaware of the dangers it will face.

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

SHUT UP, yes you... WHAT DID I JUST SAY!!!!

What is the difference between a ginger and a pile of bricks? nothing. nothing at all.

i saw amango it splootered

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...