Knock knock Fuck off!

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Why did the man with no arms or legs fall out of the tree? Because he got shot.

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Actually, Ylvis had a dog named Say. When he peed in the studio one evening, Ylvis said, "What the fuck, Say?"

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How do you confuse a blonde? put her in a circular room and tell her to stand in the corner

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Women's rights

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A: How can you tell a tree is an aspen? B: 'Cause of the way it is.

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What did Batman say to Robin before going into the Batmobile? Get in the car.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Microwaveable jellied horse nipple

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Q: Why did Jesus die for our sins? A: He didn't.

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why was the boy sad he had a frog stapled to his face

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was Hellen Keller.

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Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

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What's worse than winning a gold medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Hurricane Irene.

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Mum makes $97 per hour working online? Offline I can see , but online, mmm pull the other one, it plays lossless codecs

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How do you stop an asshole from being an asshole toward you? Shoot him in the head.

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What's as hard as a rock? A rock

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Phoebe: Joey, it's a birthday party. Joey: Yeah, but for a one year old. What's the point? The other day, she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow. And the cow says...."Elmoooo!" Joey: *starts to laugh* Yeah...that's a funny cup.

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why cant little timmy ski? he was born without legs.

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How many black people did it take to change the light bulb? I couldn't tell, the lights were out.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? It varies. Alzheimer's is a very slow progressing disease, and many people suffering from it are capable of a wide variety of a number of everyday activities.

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Why was Cathy sad. Her husband Drew was killed by a land mine on a peace keeping mission to Iraq.

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how do you kill justin bieber? put a bag over his head and suffercate him.

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Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead of getting hit by the plane because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and ever since he was 8 years old he has wanted to die with his body completely attached.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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