Roses are gray, violets are blue; I'm red-green colorblind so I occasionally have difficulty seeing most shades of red or green.

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your mom is so fat that when she walks in America with a yellow coat as they get a taxi

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? The door was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

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Why did the black man eat KFC? Because he got hungry.

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Why did sally fall of of the swing she had no arms

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Q: Why did the boy have blue balls? A: because the respectable girl with high self esteem refused to give him head.

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What's orange and is a loyalist in the orange order? Caoimhin McCann?

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a man walked into a bar, sat down and had a drink with his friends.

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"You just went and made a new dinosaur?" "And due to its well-developed core muscles the staff behind Jurassic World has called it - 'ABDOMINUS PEX'." "That's a stupid name."

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Everyone believes in something. If you believe "you'll have another drink," you may be an alcoholic.

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Q: Why did the boy cross the road? A: Because he was getting chased by a pedophile

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know ask a second grader.

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Clearly the only answer is because he's blind

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Why does Joel's breathe smell?

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what did the chocolate bar say to the ice cream cone? nothing: chocolate bars can't talk

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knock knock? who's there.......... MEEEE :D hehe

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the farmer that was trying to kill it.

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Q.What Did the Little Kid Say To Cancer In The Hospital? A.Nothing. He Died From Cancer 3 Minutes Ago.

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Why don't you ever want to greet your friend Jack on the plane? Because your wife cheated on you with him and she is having his baby, if you were to even think about talking to Jack, you'd end up slitting his throat and throwing him off the side of the plane into a crocodile pit where they will make a feast of his body for the next couple days... So just don't greet Jack

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A guy walks into a doctor's office and says: "Doctor! Doctor! You gotta help me! One day I'm a teepee, and the next day I'm a wigwam, and then the next day I'm a teepee, and then the next day I'm a wigwam again. The doctor says: Sir, we've been over this 100 times! You have stage 4 pancreatic cancer...

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Why did the woman stop running? She was an escaped convict that had been on the run for twelve years and the police had finally found the place where she was hidding. Upon arriving at her house she started to open fire on the three police cars, hit two cops and killed one more. The two are fine and are going through physical therapy as they were both hit in the spine and have a difficult time performing the smallest task. The one was one called billy. Billy had died in the hospital after asking if they had got her. He died believing a lie. They never got her. She is still on the run, I lied about her stopping.

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A jew walks into a bar.... He has a beer and then goes home to his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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