I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man with no feet... ...then I made fun of him and laughed.

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What has three legs, one eye, and is green and fuzzy. I don't know. Me either.

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A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

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What can never be seen by the owner, looks like Jesses mom, and smeels like shit. Jesses dick.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy? Thousands of years of different evolutionary tracks resulting from different climates and available food sources.

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Why did the muffin not eat the other muffin. Because muffins do not have a digestive system.

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What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back at her

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Why does Amy leave Dan? Dan gets hit by a bus.

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What starts with ''F" ends in "uck" and usually means excitement? A Firetruck

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Whats black and white and red all over? My wife, i constantly beat her and I should probably be arrested for it if she didnt love me so much

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Why did Susie drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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What did the minority say to the white person? Aboobasashagaboogly. He was uneducated, along with the other minorities in the world.

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What do you call a german soldier? A Nazi

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What is the best time to go to the dentist? When you have a toothache

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What happened when the boy got caught with his hand in the cookie jar? He gets shot in the face by Santa.

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why wasnt nathan invited the party? nathan's been dead for 5 years

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was cooked with eleven herbs and spices.

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knock knock who's there funny funny who a funny joke

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What is your name? My name is Jeff

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What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

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what do you call a dumb blonde with no arms? Her name because she will not respond to anything else

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Q: Why did Jimmy not have balls? A: A terrible, terrible sand paper accident.

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What's worse than being short? Being a Tutsi in 1994.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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