A priest, a rabbi and a scientologist walk into a bar. They discuss their various religious viewpoints until the scientologist gets a call informing him of his mother's death. The priest buys him a drink. Then the priest gets a call informing him of his mothers death. The rabbi buys him a drink. The rabbi gets a call. The scientologist expects it to be about the rabbi's mother dying, so he prematurely buys him a drink. It was actually the lottery commission telling the rabbi he won 48 million dollars.

It's red or yellow but most likely grey, and when its hit your eye you are dead? A train :)

Knock, knock. Who's there? Your parents are dead. And happy birthday!

Your mom is so ugly that she had self-esteem problems and severe depression as a teenager due to merciless bullying due to her looks, however she overcame this, found a man who loved her for who she was, and then married him. She now lives a happy life.

Roses are grey. Violets are a different shade of grey. Let's go chase cars. -Dog

So Bob walked into his house after a long day at work and layed a rope on his bed. A few hours later his wife came home and found a beautiful tire swing in their backyard but her husband shot him self in his throat.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday, Popeyes has a special sale buy one get one free fried chicken. The chicken was like "Oh hell no, today's Tuesday? I'm funna get my feathery-asss out of here.." However, chickens do not know what day it is, nor do they care about being captured by humans. I also made up the part when the chicken began talking.

My friends all use twitter but i dont know how to use it, so i said i will carry a megaphone around saying what i am doing at random times. Like yesterday i was in the library so i said into my megaphone "i am in the library" Yay i got 3 new followers, 2 of them were cops. Jokes From Blox Computers Corporation [Thailand] Bellow Joke In Thai: ?????? Twitter ???????????????? ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? ? ???????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? "i am ??????????" ??????????????? 3, 2 ????????????????????

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, there could be several reasons. The sight of another chicken, its wondering imagination, but because chickens cannot speak, therefore, can never know the true answer.

What did Dmitri say to all his friends? Nothing he has no friends

Anti - Jokes. com

Whats worse than getting a B+ in Biology? Getting raped by a scorpion.

How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb about 4

Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? Because he uses the best ingredients.

your mom is so fat that she should probably try a deit in the neer future.

Why can't John hear what Muhammad says? John is deaf.

How did the carpenter do on his exam? Poorly so his parents killed him.

What's Black, white, green, and red? To bloody zebras fighting over a pickle

Why did the woman make so many sandwiches? She was a mother catering for her child's sporting event.

How many trees does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trees are incapable of screwing light bulbs

What is the difference between an Australian and an Ethiopian? One is from Australia the other is from Ethiopa

George W. Bush

Why was there no girl on the swing set? She decided to get off of the swings.

How did the man eat 100 mints in one bite? I'm not sure myself, but we can agree on one thing, his breath is gonna fresh.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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