roses are red violets are blue. they both smell like flowers

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What do you call a Jew reading a book in the library? Steve Goldberg. .

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Will farrow now gimme your hentai"

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Why couldn't the horse open the door? - Because it was locked...Beeeeeeeeeeeeeef Jelly

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Red my dear, we are no exceptions.

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It's 4/20. You know what that means? Today is a Wednesday

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Why did the 15 year old commit suicide? Because his parents and 3 sisters died in a car accident and he went to live with his uncle, who constantly raped him.

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how long does it take chuck norris to watch a 24 hour video 24 hours

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Your mother is so fat she has to have her clothing specially ordered, this brought her to a massive credit card bill and made your entire family bankrupt.

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whats red and green and has 8 wheels. a stick

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Q: What has no color, no shape, no size, and was born in your mind? A: The thought you just had about this anti-joke.

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What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

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Why couldn't the Egyptian pharaoh solve the Rubik's Cube? He didn't know how.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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whats black & white the colombo school shooting citv footage

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Why did the chair break? The person that sat in it was over weight

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Yo momma so fat, when she went out side in a red dress, everyone yelled "HEY, KOOL-AID!"

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Why did the kid jump? He didn't.

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2 mentally, unstable , woman visit the cinema , and watched "The Sweeney,"they really enjoyed it

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What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

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What did hitler say to the jews? Die.

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What do you get when you cross a lawn mower and a rabbit? A dead rabbit...

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Wife: "I suggest you check properly next time you lose your keys so that you find them quicker" Husband: "I suggest that next time I sit down and have a beer while I wait for Doc Martin and his time machine to give my keys back.

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Three guys walk into a bar. The four man hastily ducks, grabs his phone and calls the local paramedic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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