cool story babe. now go make me a sammich.

What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

Did you see Stevie wonders house? Neither did he.

Yo' mama's so black the dark couldn't even see her.

A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

Q:What do you call a mexican witha clean record? A: Impossible

Why did the mexican cross the street? Because the next lawn to mow was in a different neighborhood

How do you make a hobo cry? You steal his trash.

A Finnish guy and a Russian guy go into a sauna. The Russian died.

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? - Nothing This homeless man got a gift for his Birthday. What happened to the gift? - It got stolen the following day What did this homeless man get for New Year? - Still nothing Get real.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? babies aren't fruit.

Hey you must be a parking ticket, because your yellow.

Why did the cow say moo? Cows can't say anything they actually make noises that humans interpreted as "moo"

your mama so old, shes dead.

whats worse than catching your parents having sex? having sex with your parents

Men's rights

What's worse than discovering a hornet's nest next to your house? Being raped.

What is smarter than a blind Mexican midget of average intelligence? A genius

How did Mary fall off the swing? She got hit by a fridge.

What happened to the girl that thought she was a mermaid? She drowned, humans can't breathe under water.

PATIENT: Doctor, doctor, I can't see my legs DOCTOR: That's because you're blind

Two Iranian men walk into a bar and order a Coke and a Lemonade. The Barman said take a seat and he'll bring them over.

Why did a kid throw a clock out the window? Because he was adopted

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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