Why was the Asian terrible at driving? He was drunk.

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What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

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What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

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Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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yo moma so stupid she went to the dentist for a bluetooth.

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What do you call literature that's depressing and hard to read? ...a valued part of the English curriculum

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I like my coffee like i like my women, blonde with big boobs.

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What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

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What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

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A man told his daughter not to give his dog coffee. His daughter turned and told him that she was his nurse and his alzheimers is getting worse.

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What did the farmer say when the potatoes were ready for harvest? The potatoes are ready for harvest.

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Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

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What's the difference between a convertible and a dead baby? One's in my garage, and one's a car.

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It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

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How do you hurt a clown? shoot it.

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Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. But it wasn't actually getting bigger, it was just getting closer. So I got hit in the face.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. The fight began and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing you say when you don't want to fight anymore and you let the other person win?" The other guy says to the challanger, "I give up?" Then the challenger yells. "I WIN!"

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whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

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What's a vampire's favorite dessert? Vampire's don't exist What's Helen Keller's favorite dessert? Helen Keller doesn't exist

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- Why does a kid from Chernobyl have two heads? - Because of the effects of the nuclear disaster that occurred there in 1986.

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Have you ever had Ugandan food? Neither have they.

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What did the penguin do in the desert? Die.

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A young boy is concerned about the well- being of his father, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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