so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

So a man and his wife were in a horrible car accident. The man died, so why isn't the wife mourning his death? Because she is also dead. But, do you know who did mourn and cry over this horrible tragedy? Their children, other family members, and friends.

When life throws you lemons, Throw grenades.

What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer What did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that far

Chuck Norris was in a staring contest with the sun. He's blind now.

Why are there so many smiths in the phonebook? Because they all have phones.

yo mama so dumb... because she was not properly educated

How do you kill a priest? Shoot him in the forehead.

Q: Whats worse then a minor fender bender? A: Dieing a long painful death by getting stabbed 27 times then getting hit by a car 2 hours later your brother finds you and told you that him and your wife have been cheating on you and your kid is his.

I got 99 problems and they're all related to long history of drug abuse

Why couldn't the black man support his family? He was the youngest child of 3 and already had a caring and supporting mother and father.

Roses are red violets are blue i have HIV you should probably get yourself checked...

why don't bears wear shoes? because they have bear feet

what happened when 3 had sex with 4? nothing numbers are not capable of sexual intercourse

Why did the Mexican jump the fence? He was at his neighbors house and it was shorter to cut through yards than to walk to his house

human centipede

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died.

Knock knock. Who's there? Jim. Oh, come in Jim!

Why are Pirates called Pirates? Because the word originates from the term Pirata which means 'sea attacker' in Latin.

A woman went for a midnight jog. She's been missing for 12 years now.

Then I contracted bronchitis from the smoke. Unfortunately I don't not have time to visit a doctor to mend this debilitation. In fact, nobody does.

What do you call six white guys on a bench? Six white guys at the park

How do you have sex with 9 giraffes? you don't because that's weird

Your mama's so fat.... Her cerial bowl came with a lifeguard

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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