Why don't meth addicts like food? Because they have not teeth to chew it with.

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why does david stutter during meetings. because he smiles till his cheeks hurt

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Whats worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Finding out that that apple was the tip of a dick

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Sigh, everybody in the world hates me :( Moral: Seven billion people? Realy?

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Bill Clinton, George Bush, and Barak Obama find a magical lamp. The Genie says, "I will give each of you one wish, and one wish only.." They all wished to be presidents.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because there were no cars in the way.

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When geese fly in the V formation why is there always one side longer than the other? Because theres more geese on that side.

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What do you call a green blur in the sky? Super pickle?

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Do you believe in magic? cuz i do.

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There was a black guy and a blonde crossing the street. They are not related.

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Nero7 How are you doing? This is "Eliza" I hope I will be joining, but I cannot reach you by phone, please respond ASAP time is running out.

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What's white and has a crusty nose? Luke Lange

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Do ya like waffles? Ya we like waffles.

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What's brown and liquidy? Brown paint.

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Remember when Jesse Ziegenbein was skinny? yeah niether do I

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So there was this cracker sitting on a bench. A pigeon picked it up and flew off. Probably ate it afterwards.

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To tell the truth... Your really an abortion that grew

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Knock, Knock. Who's There? Its Greg. I forgot my keys, can you let me back in?

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TOFFEES HEAD LYING IN THE GRASS

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Why do gingers smell so bad? So the blind can hate them too

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Two little boys are talking to each other: - My dad's dick is soo biig! - Eh, my dad's dick is small but it still hurts...

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Tiger woods is a famous golf player and Santa is a fictional old man dressed in red and white who is said to live in Lapland, have an airborne sleigh driven by eight magical reindeer and come down the chimney to fill childrens' stockings on Christmas eve.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's And add extra pepperoni

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops