A horse enter a bar, and the barman says: "why the long face?" The horse has cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock knock Who's there The police The police who? Ma'am your son is dead

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? a pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Mohamed is driving a taxi to the airport at 20mph How many pounds of explosives are strapped to his chest?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

OMG SOHPIE IS SOOOOO GREAT AT BLOWING Josh Brown xoxo

thumb_up thumb_down -10

If you're havin' girl problems I feel bad for you son, your mother and I once had those problems but we got through it.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Me: did u here the one about the girl got hit by a car? Man: no what happened? Me: She is in the hosspital with slight fractures and a broken wrist, but she will live

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I once met with Mahatma Gandhi and he said to me "Child, why do I walk this earth?.. What is the meaning of my living?.. Why am I alive?" and I bowed in respect of his wisdom and said "I don't know. Why do you?" and he said "I don't I'm dead."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A woman is walking down the street. A midget approaches her and with his keen sense of smell, informs the tall woman of her delicious scent and says, "Ma'am your hair smells lovely, may I please take a closer sniff?" Then woman obliges and the midget is arrested for alleged rape, or as he put it, trying to sniff her vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Did you hear the one about the Mexican that went to college? All his life, Juan wanted to get a decent education, but was unable to due to his family's low income. So Juan worked hard all his life, and got a part-time job. He made a little cash here, a little there. He also studied vigorously, getting a 33 on his ACT. All that work eventually paid off, and Juan was eventually accepted at Princeton University. Juan is now a highly paid Neurological surgeon, and has saved countless lives

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A Muslim, a Buddhist, and a Christian are on a plain. They have to jump off for some reason. The Muslim straps a bomb to his chest, jumps out of the plain, and screams "AHLA AKBAH"!!!! The Buddhist jumps out and says save me heavenly Buddha. A giant golden hand catches him and lightly places him on land. The Christian says "aw hell with this" and jumps out, then says "save me heavenly Buddha". The giant golden hand places him down gently on land. The Christian then says "thank god". The giant golden hand comes back down and kills him.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock, knock. Who's there? Your parents are dead. And happy birthday!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's worst than the finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worst than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple. What's worst than finding two worms in your apple? Finding seven dead babies in a trash can. What's worst than that? Finding one dead baby in seven trash cans.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do chickens, pictures and babies have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: Why couldn't the skeleton go to the party A: He had a boner

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was the Mexican lucky to have a job? Due to the failing economy, lack of available jobs, and amount of people getting laid off, it was considered lucky to have a job.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock knock. Get out!!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q:why did the man jump of the house A:he did not I threw a frige at him

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Suck pussy

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What happened to Kanye West when he interrupted a KKK ritual meeting? He was promptly hung from a tree for being a negro.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q. What is the worlds biggest lie A. I have read and agree to the terms of service ?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why Is the teen's sock crusty? he stepped in the glue that his little sister was using for her art project.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops