Jack, John, Justin, Joseph and Jimmy walk into a bar. They order a pint of beer and start wondering what their names have in common.

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if a fat guy in a red suit comes into your house on christmas. its not santa your about to get raped from chewy(:

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Q: Why was the chicken waterboarded? A: Because the guy liked being cruel to animals.

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what happened to the kid who opened the goldfish? he got eaten by a cixelsyd dinosaur

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1:Your reading my text. 2:Your wondering what the point is. 3:Your getting angry. 5:Your going to click thumbs down. 6:But wait! You didn't realize that there was no number 4. 7:Your checking it. 9:Your smiling. 10:Your smiling so much you forgot to check for number 8. 11:Your checking it. 12:Jokes on you.

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Q: What did a rock say to a Another Rock? A: Don't take things for Granite!

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Why did the Jew cross the road? After looking both ways many times, repeatedly, to make sure there was absolutely no element of possible danger, he concluded that his best option was the cross the road.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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what has 2 legs and no eyes? A decapitated cat with only its lower half remaining

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Why did the cow cross the road? He probably saw a delicious looking patch of grass on the otherside.

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Why did they bury the firefighter behind the hill? Because he was dead.

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The other day I was talking to this guy... Nice guy

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Who created Apple? Steve jobs.

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Pickles

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how do you make a baby float? you take your foot off its head

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor Wheres my tractor?

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1 black guy jumped off a cliff at the same time as a white guy, who fell first? The one who weighed the most.

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What did Jay Z say to his long lost friends? Allow me to reintroduce myself, my names Jay - Z

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Black people in Camden NJ.

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It's all Taggart

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You killed my brother and call me the antichrist? Its lovable: Jesus said on the cross, I shall return. Then he returned three days later to say goodbye to his people. Moral: What the **** are you Åsshats waiting for? The third coming? He died for their sins, not for yours... WELCOME TO HELL!

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and blind.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Do you know any anti-jokes. Yeah, I do. It's a bit pointless though.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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