how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his family!

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Quick! It's a fly, call the swat team!!!

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because seven is a murdering sociopath

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Q. What do you call a small hen that can't lay eggs properly? A. A small hen that can't lay eggs properly.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? nothing he was Jewish

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Why did the Olympic gold-medalist lose his faith in God? Because he began to feel that the the reasoning that most religions were based on was fairly spurious.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most rhymes rhyme But this one doesnt

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A man is walking on the beach and notices a shiny brass lamp on the ground. He picks it up, polishes it and then sells it for a reasonable amount of money at a local pawnbroker.

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"Knock Knock" "Whose there?" Someone who needs to consider not saying "Knock Knock" every time they are about to enter a building.

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What does it say on the back of Superman`s cape on the "new" movie? My other actor was an awesome dude, all I got now is this asshole... Moral: Christopher Reeve... takes lasers... shotguns, eats lava with his cornflakes... falls of a horse... dies... Moral2: HEY What is the booing for? This is the ANTI JOKE! SECTION... but now to my sincerest thoughts... Moral 3: R.I.P Christohper Reeve, he lived and died with hope... Dying happy while suffering from one of the worst things that can happen to a human being, is an inspiration to us all! True superman!

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Wanna hear the most repeated joke on anti jokes? Why did [insert name here] fall off the swing? Because he/she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not [insert name here].

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know I'm not a bird physcologist

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A good antijoke? Going to the last few pages of the "Popular" antijoke section....

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A magician tells the boy to get into the box and locks him in. He wasn't a magician.

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A guy went to McDonalds and asked for a cheeseburger: —Can I have a cheeseburguer? —No

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Who lived in a pineapple under the sea?

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What did the boy eat for lunch? - His mother.

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What do black people and tables have in common? Nothing.

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What happens when you go swimming in the rain? You get wet.

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

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What do you call a guy with a rubber toe? . . . . . . . Roberto

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Why did the wolf cry boy? Cause he was a pedifile.

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Roses are Rose, Violets are Violet.

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Why did the man throw the baby at the brick wall? I don't know, but that is a tragic incident and I will now go mourn.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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