What's the best way to toss a salad? With a salad spinner from the home shopping network.

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Why is Short Circuit the best movie ever made? Because it tastes like lemons

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Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

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I'm Polish.

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What do you call a black man with a gun a soldier who is fighting for his country

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side.

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What's black and red? I black guy bleeding to death

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Q: What is the first thing you do if you wake up and meet the entire justice league(!!!) Which tells you that you are the "chosen one" and that only you can save the world once your true powers awaken? A: Increase your schizo medication.

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All the other kids with the pumped up kicks died in a school shooting.

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A fish didn't walk into a bar, because fish cannot walk.

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Why did the man have a finger coming out of his ear? He had a birth defect.

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Why did the black man offer the girl flowers? It was his niece's birthday.

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1:Your reading my text. 2:Your wondering what the point is. 3:Your getting angry. 5:Your going to click thumbs down. 6:But wait! You didn't realize that there was no number 4. 7:Your checking it. 9:Your smiling. 10:Your smiling so much you forgot to check for number 8. 11:Your checking it. 12:Jokes on you.

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Knock knock Who's there? Nobody Oh, ok

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Chuck Norris isn't afraid of the dark. Because he's a grown man, and most grown men aren't afraid of the dark.

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*Walk Into The Bakery* "Excuse me, sir. How much does the challah cost (holocaust)?

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What do you get when two black men walk into a bar? A few salesmen celebrating their recent pay raise.

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How did the Cuban get into Florida? Well he got his passport and other papers, flew in, then went to Customs.

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Q: Knock - Knock A: NO SOLICITORS!

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Guess what my dog can do? Bark.

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Your mama is so fat but she is also a very kind and friendly person so her weight doesn't bother me at all,

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whats short blonde and speaks spanish? my spanish teacher Mrs. Inman

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Two men are walking down the street. They both don't make eye contact and continue walking.

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Your momma soo fat.... that if she doesnt start exercising and eating right she will be more likely to get adult onset diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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