How do you run faster than a cheetah? Cut off its legs.

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women drivers>asian drivers>asian women drivers

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What did Big Dog say to Little Dog? "We are both dogs."

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your face is kinda funny

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You know that song "FIrework" by Katy Perry? Well, I ate a hotdog last night.

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Why did the man go to Jupiter? Because he was on a mission for N.A.S.A.

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A man walks into a bar and says, "Hey, Jim, your wife just died from terminal cancer." Jim then says, "Cool. Hey, do you know if the games on tonight?"

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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How do you make money? Kill babies and sell them.

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Why couldn't Jimmy go bowling with the rest of his friends? His parents shot him.

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Whats black and red and dead? Nobody could tell, but they were sure that it wasn't a dead black person, so stop being racist!

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What do you call a black man running really fast down a street? Active.

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How do you get a black man out of your seat? You ask him very nicely with a great attitude.

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I once was told that life is like a box of chocolates, but then realized that it wasn't

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what is the difference between a baby and a book... The book still has a spine

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The funniest thing about this joke is that by the time you realise it doesn't say anything its to late to stop reading it

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What do the duck and elephant have in common?? Nothing, they are completely different species.

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

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what's the difference between Michael Jackson and Acne? Acne is a skin problem caused by chemical imbalance usually found in teenagers. Michael Jackson was a singer and dancer who should've been able to escape tasteless jokes upon his death.

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What is smarter than a blind Mexican midget of average intelligence? A genius

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Q. Whats the worst soccer team in the world. A. Ass-enal.

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What's the difference between a plum and an elephant? They're both purple except for the elephant.

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A man dies from a cat attack. he goes up to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter asks him, " how did you die sir?" The man doesn't reply so Peter says, "cat got your tongue?" "No," he says, "cat got my throat!"

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Roses are cheap Violets are on sale It's Boxing Day Please buy my flowers I really need the cash.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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