Whats worse than a dumpster full of dead babies? A landfill full of dead babies.

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Why do the man leave his tv on? He was murdered while he was watching tv

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What did the Taliban teenager strap on his chest before getting on the bus? A blue rubber dildo.

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What's small, black and at the top of a burning building? Oh shit - I forgot my baby

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Everything's grey, I'm a dog.

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Why was the prison full of black people? Because they were all their for security internships.

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What do you call a lesbian eskimo? The name she was given at birth.

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What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

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What did the grizzly bears have for lunch? Fish and tourists.

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Q: Whats the difference between me and a ghost? A: Ghosts arnt dolphins!

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

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A mexican, an Aisian, and a black guy are fighting in a dumpster. Who wins? The Mexican, why? Home court advantage!

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What did the monkey say to the newlywed couple? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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There are 2 black guys in a car. Who's driving? The police.

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"Would you like to see our stool samples?" asked the salesman. 10 minutes later, I left with 3 new bar stools.

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When life gives you a hamburger, you know you're at Mr. Life's Hamburger Stand on 8th Avenue.

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What's a Gigawat? I made it up.

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What's the safest way to tell a racist joke? Ask everybody who might hear the joke if they would be offended by a racist joke.

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We could have had it all Rolling in the deep You have my heart inside of your hand As you've just now inexplicably ripped it out of my ribcage.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have five fingers, The middle one's for you.

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If life throws you lemons, what do you do? Well unless life throws you water and sugar also, hen your lemonade is gonna taste horrible.

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Little Jack Horner sat in a corner, Dead.

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Why did the mother stop breastfeeding her son? Because he was twenty five.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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