Q: Whats worse then a minor fender bender? A: Dieing a long painful death by getting stabbed 27 times then getting hit by a car 2 hours later your brother finds you and told you that him and your wife have been cheating on you and your kid is his.

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how long does it take chuck norris to watch a 24 hour video 24 hours

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Do not use your phone, I repeat DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE, at this point we do not know enough, as for this kid, he is about two minutes from getting his ass locked in a nice prison, I told them he does not know anything, and I will make sure he does not squeal, you should be good, even if I got to take care of him.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

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Why did Anti-Joke.com close down? It didn't. If your reading this, the site is fully operational and up to date with your system.

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On a scale of 1 to 10, how high are you? Very.

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What's the difference between a red shirt and a blue shirt? one is red and one is blue

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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What happens when you mix breed a cat and a human?? .. you get arrested and get raped by your fellow prisoners DONT do it!

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What kind of pizza did the world trade center order? Two cheese pizzas.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a canoe at him.

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I just threw up..In my pants.

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Why can't you teach drivers ed and sex ed at the same time in Iraq? The camel would get tired.

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whats a funny joke? nuthing nuthing at all

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What happened to the man taking a shit? An unfortunate drop of water splashed back onto his arse

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Q.What happens when Torres scores A. He doesn't

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Your mamma's so fat she has diabetes and may die because she may not be able to loose enough weight to keep her blood sugar at a regulated number.

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A man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, every time I hit my hand with a hammer, it hurts!" Then both him and his doctor died; so it didn't matter.

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A Jewish boy walks up to his father and says: Dad, can I borrow 50 dollars? The dad responds: 40 dollars?!? What are you going to do with 30 dollars?!?

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Knock, knock who's there? Not your Dad, because he left and created a better family.

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Why did the car stop To buy drugs

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27

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You know what they say about priests with big rosaries? I don't know, it's in Latin.

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What did the orphan do on his birthday? He burned down his orphanage, he hated the place because he was severly abused.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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