I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

Q: Why did the white mother with a newborn baby lock her car doors? A: Because a black guy walked by.

Why is a bird when it flies? Because the higher it goes the much.

Knock Knock [Opens Door]

How did Ronald McDonald die He was hit by a big mac

whats white and sticky? a white stick

What do you hear when the world trade center collapsed?, no seriously I wasn't even three yet.

How do you kill a baby? You take a gun and shoot it.

what do you get when you cross ruddell with a chicken? still a prick

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the p is silent!

Why was timmy live on the streets? His parents didnt have the money to abort him!! HaHa

Reality is often boring. TV is often bad for you. Reality TV is boring AND bad for you.

Whats red and smells like black paint Red paint

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding herpes in your apple.

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Your under arrest for drug trafficking and possession of illegal firearms. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say...

why did jenny drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock who's there? not jenny.

Knock knock. Who's there? Navy Seals. *BOOM* *waiting* "Yeah, he's dead." -Navy Seals

Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

A guy is taking a pee in the ocean and a fish swims up and drinks the pee. The fish says "thanks for the lemonade."

Remember when Jesse Ziegenbein was skinny? yeah niether do I

OMG I JUST FOUND THE GREATEST WEBSITE YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CHECK IT OUT OMG ITS http://anti-joke.com/submit

Beans, beans, are good for your heart the more you eat the less hungry you are.

What do Tom Cruise and Santa Claus have in common? They're both Tom Cruise.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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