Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus. Why did the bus crash? It hit a boy eating an ice cream cone.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

You know those people that learned the true name of God, as God asked kindly... ...Well you know God can be nice sometimes but he actually COMMANDED they keep his name secret forever? They became the first people known as Jehova`s witnesses... JEHOVAH<<< SECRET NAME ANYBODY? So much for keeping his secret name guys! They claim that only a few thousand humans will ascend to heaven, in other words all of the JEHOVA`s witnesses... All two billions of them or something... For keeping his name (Cough JEHOVAH) secret. SUCCESS!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What does the ship say when it's cold? Shiver me timbers

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What happened to the lady? She queefed.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How did the chicken perform the bank robbery? It was crossing the road and cluelessly walked into a bank, and EVERYONE in that bank had Chickenphobia so they just GAVE him the money...

thumb_up thumb_down -14

One day a man was really horny and wanted to bang his wife that night, so he took soom horns and banged them against her skull until his wife bled to death. He was later sentenced for homocide and to this day has been in prison

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why does a squirrel have the tail at the back? Because at the front it's the squirrel.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

If you're happy and you know it get a life

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Your mom is so fat she is larger then the average person.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's tall black and has curly hair? A black guy

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Jack, John, Justin, Joseph and Jimmy walk into a bar. They order a pint of beer and start wondering what their names have in common.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you stop an aboriginal from drowning? Take your foot off his head...

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Knock Knock Who's there? Tennis? Tennis who? Tennis Racket

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know... I thought no one knew the answer to that question...

thumb_up thumb_down -16

They say duck tape can fix every thing, Not my grandma's cancer for that matter.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man sets his house on fire. His wife comes home, what did she ask? Why'd you set the house on fire?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I'm a vegan thats why I am still a Virgin.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How many gays does it take to change a lightbulb? It's COMPLETELY circumstantial.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you wake up lady gaga? poke her face.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q. What's yellow and sour? A. Not a banana

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's big with fat all over it? Your mom on this dick

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call the Doctor who graduated at the bottom of his class? Doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what did the pumpkin muffin say to the blueberry muffin? nothing, because muffins can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops