Roses are red, violets are blue, the little midget is coming for you. If you don't run and if you don't hide, you will probably be stepped on because of my incredible big size.

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I ounce had a parrot it talked buy never said im hungry so it died

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a cat and a duck walk into a pub. the cat enters first and says for the duck to put all of their drinks on his bill. the duck(being a duck)says nothing because ducks cannot speak. therefore the cat shouldnt have been speaking either.

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dont insult justin bieber, she has feelings too!

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Girl: What's up? Guy: If I told you, would you sit on it?

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What would you get when you cross a bear and a shark? a highly improbable situation because sharks and bears live completely different environments.

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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"I vant to blood your suck!" warned Darcula.

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-Knock, knock. -Is it the pizza man? -No. -Then go away.

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whats sad about 3 black people driving a Cadillac over a cliff? that was my Cadillac

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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Why did Rachel fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Rachel.

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I would tell you a joke about a blunt pencil but it's pointless

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What did Batman say to When they were heading to the Batmobile Robin get in the batmobile.

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Bob has 80 chocolate bars, he gives 5 to his uncle,10 to his mother and 8 to his freind. He then eats 40 chocolate bars. Q. How many chocolate bars has bob got left now? A. Bob has no chocolate bars left. Shortly after Bob ate 40 bars he was diagnosed with diabetes. He then died of a heart attack due to high cholesterol.

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How old am I? If you guessed correctly, you are psychic. If you guessed incorrectly, I will send flying gnomes to capture and torture you. Unless, of course, you are of a racial minority in which case nothing will happen to you because I am not racist. :P

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Why was the chinese man kicked out of the bar? Because he was under aged

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What did the farmer say to little susie? I have a gun. Get in the car and dont scream or i will kill you

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Why did the black man steal an inhaler? Because he was broke and he had asthma.

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Three men walk into a bar. Something happens not at relating to them.

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A baby seal walks into a club. He immediately escorted out because babies are not allowed in clubs.

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How do you take a picture of a man with a wooden leg? You can't take pictures with wooden legs.

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I'm homeless.

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Q-Why did the little boy feel hot? A-Because he faceplanted into a bonfire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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