I have your mom in bed just kidding, i killed her Then barried her

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Albert, there is a dead, FLY in your hair.

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What's round, has two hands, and tells time? Some fat guy I know, with a watch.

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FUCK YOU

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Why wasn't the Asian at work? Because the sweat shop was closed on Sundays...

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What do two zebras look like next to each other? Two zebras

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Whats worse than a man who has had a hard day at work, he goes to a bar and gets drunk, he goes home and beats his wife? I his wife was fat and had cancer

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why didn't the boy go to school because he died last night

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Tell me fuck you Fuck you No fuck your mum

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What did the black kid get for christmas? Probably nothing as the social economy of the black race has been low in 2011 and hasn't raised by a penny in 2012.

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What do you say on a date with Uma Thurman? Hey Uma, pass the salt.

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Q: Why are the Black Eyed Peas named the Black Eyed Peas? A: I don't know ask them yourself.

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A Vietnam war veteran accidentally goes to a Vietnamese concert and says, "I could take a lot of them down with me."

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What do Black people call their fathers? Dad.

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why did the boy fall off his bike? because his mum through a fridge at him

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Where does a successful black person live? Neverland.

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What did the Turkey say on Thanksgiving? Gobble gobble.

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A horse walks in a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?"..... The horse incapable of understanding the humane language promptly poos on the floor and leaves.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause it wanted to

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How do you stop a bus from hitting you?? You throw small children to impede the progress of the bus.

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An american, canadian, and mexican are on a skyscraper. Canadian: (pulls off maple leaf) we have to many of these in our country (throws off building) Mexican: (pulls out burrito) we have to many of these in our country (throws off building) American: (looks at mexican) we have to many of these in our country (pushes mexican off building)

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Would you spit or swallow? Well, in circumstances when i am eating or drinking, i would swallow. Although if i had something disgusting in my mouth i would spit

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Q: Are their Jews in Hell? A: No, because Hitlers there

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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