All dogs are mammals. All cats are mammals. Therefore, all dogs are cats.

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They say time heals all wounds, yet my leg still had to be amputated.

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Why was the man walking down the street late at night? Because he's homeless and has nowhere to stay.

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How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I workout, Don't mess with me.

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Why did Visellet stop eating cherries? Because she choked on a pit and died.

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A blonde takes a test. She scores higher than her Asian friend.

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knock knock who's there? your destiny

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Q: How do you catch a squirrel? A: Throw a fridge at it

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A little boy falls into the mud Wanna hear a clean joke? He takes a bath with bubbles Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is Michal Jackson.

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What was Jenna's favourite ice cream flavour? Keyword; was, she's dead now

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Knock knock. Who's there? IRS. Youre being audited, Sir.

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What's the difference between a clever trick and a computer programmer? A clever trick throws you for a loop, and a computer programmer throws you a for loop.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Orange. Orange Who? No, this is Homeland Security. We have raised the current terrorism threat level to Orange, which means there is a high risk of terrorist attacks. Please report any suspicious behavior.

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Why did the girl break her leg? Because I pushed down the staircase.

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A woman went for a midnight jog. She's been missing for 12 years now.

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A black guy and a white girl are having sex. The white girl screams "I'm pregnant!!!!" The black guy says "i'll help you take care of it" "I love you sweetie and nothing will come between us"

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What's black and really really smelly? Martin Luther King Jr.'s grave.

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Q: What's worse? Inhaling fly spray or deodorant? A: The Holocaust

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Knock knock. "Whose there?" "Dave" Oh alright Dave, two seconds I have got to unlock the door~looks for and finds keys and unlocks door~ Hello Dave, sorry mate not been out yet so not been out, come in.........

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Where do drunk asians live? In their house or apartment with their families, who are concerned about his drinking.

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How do you make an egg laugh? You can't. Eggs are inanimate objects which are incapable of emotion, thus laughter.

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What's the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? What's the WNBA?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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