A duck walks into a bar. Then he walks out.

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Why did the 18 year old girl take her clothes off? To take a shower

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penis. nuff said.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Your under arrest for drug trafficking and possession of illegal firearms. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say...

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Yo Mama's so fat when she fell out of the tree she hit the ground very, very hard.

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whats something naked and nailed to a cross? jesus, idiot.

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Why didn't Johnny's father come home? He was killed in Afghanistan.

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why did the supermodel have sex with the janitor? she loved him. and he was brad pitt.

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a man walks into a bar and buys a drink

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Past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense!

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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whats worse than 1 bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings.

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What's Donald Trump's favorite color? Green.

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Why was little Timmy mauled by a bear? He poked it with a pointy stick.

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What is yellow outside, black inside, and makes you laugh when it falls? A school bus full of black people falling from a clif

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Who moved faster? The snail or the blind man? The blind man until he ran into the road and got hit by a bus.

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Ask me if I'm a tree "are you a tree?" No

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9/11 my birthday

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what did the maker of anti jokes website say while reading some of the jokes on here? these people r idiots. and he lived happily ever after. then died. Good one

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Why did the semen cross the road? Because i put on the wrong socks this morning

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Knock knock Who's there? Chicken Chicken who? I can't believe you're talking to a chicken

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What would you get when you cross a bear and a shark? a highly improbable situation because sharks and bears live completely different environments.

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What's the correct way to eat spaghetti? Put it in your mouth.

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What did Abe Lincoln say after a 3 day drunk? "I set WHO free?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops